more office currency

office-types try to bribe their workers into having a good time when the going gets rough. my employer does the bulk of sales at the end of the year, and we’re asked to help out on the phones or in the warehouse… so they offer free hot beverages through december 31 to keep us awake and motivated. when the email goes out, the expected response is as has been previously



first up is the coffee from our in-house cafeteria; it’s barely passable, hardly drinkable, watered down slew. i won’t even bother with it if i happen to forget my own coffee at home.

that’s right, you heard me.



it gets even more watered down during december because of the increased volume required to sustain those who won’t pay for it the rest of the year.

what’s worse is the vending machine coffee, to which my coworkers and i fondly refer as “ass coffee”.



it’s an even greater insult than the stuff from the cafe because it’s a machine.

the final result of these efforts usually ends up as follows: